i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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