i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
