Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Are we still banned from the library?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
