32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
that may or may not have been my penis.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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