I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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