is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
