he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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