im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
