So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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