I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
