There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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