Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry sonnycorleone hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(530): View more from California

You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.

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(541): View more from Oregon

I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.

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(254): View more from Texas

it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.

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(626): View more from California

I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?

(949): View more from California

OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.

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(514): View more from Quebec

Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.

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(512): View more from Texas

You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."

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(775): View more from Nevada

I feel a blackout coming on

(802): View more from Vermont

Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again

(775): View more from Nevada

That was 2 times

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.

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