The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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