Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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