Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
