No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
