what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
