woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
