ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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