a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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