What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
