the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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