Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
