In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
