What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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