I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize