Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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