I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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