She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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