I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
