I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
