i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Slut skills are useful in every country.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
