Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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