drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
