if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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