I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize