My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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