I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize