I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
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Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
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Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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