and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
