hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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