i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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