I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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