That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
