I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
