You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
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For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
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I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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