Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
