I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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