writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
