No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
