Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
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Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
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i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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