Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize