Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She told me I should be a condom model.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
