He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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