David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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