did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
