just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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