the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
