you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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